People say it leads you to getting hurt more often, but rarely look at the other side of the coin.
Without full recognition of it, I’d spent the first months of the year with a full, vulnerable, and curious heart. There was no such thing as earning a place, new relationships automatically became important parts of my life.
To several people it was confusing and concerning, especially when I’d tell stories of friends and it was indecipherable which friends I’d met last week and which I’d known for 10 years.
The capacity to welcome new experiences and new people as if it were a long term habit has, for obvious reasons, its downsides. You get your feelings hurt. That being said, it has a tendency to make your life feel as if it’s always in bloom. New friendships and new experiences are growing everywhere you look.
One positive in particular is something I didn’t see coming. I, a historically nervous girl, didn’t feel scared anymore. Instead, it felt like overnight I’d developed an almost wearable sense of pride.
In Seoul, I spent a night walking through a Hanok village and somehow (with a very lucky feeling), I knew I wanted to create perfume. It’s as if instantly I felt ready to go home and take on this new project. I wasn’t scared to fail, just excited to pursue.
No part of me felt nervous to tell my friends. Or to put myself out there. Instead, I felt excited.
The funny thing is, when you wear pride, it’s as if the world is proud of you too. You never know who your cheerleaders are until you step on the field. I (and Kuki) have been greeted by a level of warmth that, to put it simply, couldn’t have happened any other way.
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